Most people's non-negotiables list is either too long and unrealistic or too short and missing the things that actually matter for long-term compatibility. The useful exercise is distinguishing between preferences, which are things that would make a relationship better, and actual non-negotiables, which are things whose absence would make the relationship unsustainable regardless of how good everything else was. Wanting someone who is funny is a preference. Needing someone who shares your orientation toward having or not having children is a non-negotiable. The process of making this distinction requires genuine self-knowledge about what you can and cannot adapt to over years rather than months. https://datewise.org/ has guidance on exactly this process and the structured approach helps people who have been operating with an unclear or unexamined list discover what their actual non-negotiables are rather than what they think they should be based on what sounds reasonable.
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